Published July 17, 2009
Thsoe taht hvae me aer siad to be "sepcial"
Yte I hvae not bneen udnesrtood wlel.
I konw i cna gte to yuo,I konw i cna
Btu you dnot wnat to konw me,yuo jsut dnot
Plaese dnot surpress me,i gto tanlet too
Brnaosn,Piacsso,da vni ci hda me,
..........but waht cna i say,yuor jsut NOMRAL
you dnot wnat to konw me.
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Alright, so I think it's been said that it is a bit difficult to read quite enough times. I, however, had no problems with reading through this and understanding it (to my own extent) and I didn't find it particularly irritating.
You have a good idea, a good foundation, as well as quite a creative way of portraying it. But, perhaps, you could tone down that representation. For example, you could only mix around a few key words so that it reads as something entirely different, which I think is sometimes what dyslexics interpret things as - something totally different.
I know that some people before me, in their critiques, have said that the jumbled letters in the words were annoying, but I think that that means you did a good job. You obviously conveyed the frustration and aggravation in reading things as their not or having to take time to decipher simple words, as a dyslexic would. Even if they didn't make that connection with their annoyance, I think that's what you have actually succeeded in.
There should be an E and an apostrophe in there somewhere with the "yuor."
Also, you need to put spaces after each of your commas before you go into another word, as well as capitalize some of the I's toward the end of the piece.
Overall, I think this was an okay piece. You have a solid foundation, a base. You just have to build off of that in a different way, perhaps bringing this original poem a step down from where it is.
I think you could also add more about how dyslexia affects a person, aside from just how misunderstood it is.
Good job! Keep working and writing!
-Jocelyn.
I really like how you mixed up all the letters even if it does make it harder to read. It helps the people reading understand what those people go through every day. You might want to pu a coma between da vinci and had me to make it easier to understand. It took me a little while to figure out they were seperate.
I also like how you talk about the good parts of it. It is true NASA looks for people with dyslexia because they have great problem solving skills.
Hello,
I agree with Kyllorac about going more in-depth. Dyslexics are usually called "lazy" "dumb" or "careless". That could be added to your poem. Also, talk about the talent of being a dyslexic because it's a great talent. There's so more to being dyslexic than mixing up letters. Some research would be good for your poem. Some great sites that I found are: www.dyslexiacenter.com , www.dyslexianj.com , and www.diaread.com/dyslexiafacts.htm.
I'm a dyslexic myself and these sites really helped me understand dyslexia and I hope they help you with your poem.
Keep it up
Although the message was clear, the language wasn't.
I have to agree with the others, having every word mixed up doesn't work, it's not how dyslexic people write. My sister is dyslexic and most of the words she gets wrong is due to her writing them phonetically or getting b's and d's mixed up etc.
I think some research on the subject would have helped.
I wouldn't call this a poem, more an advertiesment.

But in keeping with that, it is a simple, accessible method of getting a simple, accessible message across to a simple, accessible audience. haha hooray for double enteundras.
Effective though
hey this is dogs here

like every one else all of the words mixed up makes it hard to read and it really really gets to me. and exatly what kyllorac you should just take out the last letter or something instead of mixing them all around. it would sound alot better. also being a little dislexic i can understand what you are saying. and
if this was much longer i would have long lost intrest. but its not.
so apart from that i think you should keep on writing and keep up the good work. best of luck
To be honest, it was a bit difficult to read, especially Branson. I had to think about it for a long time before I recognized the name. Since this is a poem about dyslexia, fixing all the spellings wouldn't be right, so I suggest spelling some things out more phonetically. For example, "are" could become "ar." "You" could become "yu" or just "u." "Those" could become "thowz" or "thoze" or "thowz." There's a lot of possibilities, and these are just the ones I've seen used by dyslexic people that are recognizable for most non-dyslexic people. Also, you could transpose letters between words: "fit in" could become "fin it" for example.

One thing I think would have made this poem stronger is going a bit more in-depth into how non-dyslexics react to/think about dyslexics. As it stands, you're just saying that dyslexics are misunderstood because no one bothers to understand them without going into why non-dyslexics are like that. Basically, you're arguing something without giving it any support. Including a line or two along the lines of "just because I can't read, write, or spell right doesn't mean I'm stupid" would be one way of strengthening the poem. Another thing you could deal with is how much of a struggle it is for a dyslexic to learn how to read/write/spell correctly just so they can fit in.
Being mildly dyslexic myself, I'd really like for this poem to be the best it can be.
By the way, thanks for the review.
Its Branson.If you want to know more, google Richard Branson.
Ok, well to be honest all of the words being mixed up annoys me. I really have to look at some of the words to understand them. I do like the message in it though. I guess it might take some of the words being mixed up for it to be understood.
The one thing that I saw was that you said, "I got talent to." It should be I have talent to.
What is the word that is on the last line of the first stanza before the Da Vinci thing?